Saturday, November 28, 2009

It's a Dogs Life....

...So here I am eating the turkey and gravy and all of the trappings of Thanksgiving...discussing the merits of being an American in this day and age...including being able to buy 10 pounds of potatoes for .69 cents...crazycheapspuds!..and my lovely bride tells us about the lady in the Ralph's right behind her...with an opinion on everything...she must have a blog also...but anyway...old Ethyl starts to talk to the little lady...when she notices what does her new friend have in her shopping cart?...well besides 3 pounds of Velveeta, Del Monte fruit cocktail...some coffeemate and three jars of medicated Tucks...
She sees the old bow-wow in the cart! Isn't that just cute...no downright precious...ahhhhh....cute little poochy-poochy....smile...and warm fuzzies go up and down Ruthie's cute little spine...how thoughtful of her new friend to bring her little companion into the grocery store!...ahhhhhhh....how nice... anchors aweigh little buddy!

...Now before you go sending me a note about not loving dogs...make no mistake but I do indeed love the little fellas enormously...always have and I have a very tender spot for dogs...but dogs in a grocery store? Are you freakin kidding me!!!!..... dogs are dogs people! Not people, people! Persons peoples! arrghhhh!

...As someone who worked in food production for many years and has had to make significant changes in our company and handling practices for food safety, does anyone in their right mind think that bringing animals into the grocery store is a good idea? Can little muffy possibly survive in the big nasty car for twenty minutes when mommy poo needs to buy-buy some good foody for the wittle puppy? Can you say fecal matter and e-coli?

Can we all let our dogs be dogs? You know those things that protect us from bad people, chase cars, catch rabbits, lay on the porch and lick...well, you know...dog stuff....anyway let's let our dogs do the whole companion thing! But in being a companion do they have to become like us? Wearing silly clothes and taking trips with us? Have we taken this whole thing way too far with pets?


...The picture just above is from a site that explains why sometimes dogs bite people...I would have done more than bite my master if I was such a pooch...and again, I just love dogs...but they are not humans...

...This leads me to think that people are now using dogs to replace children...I know this is true in some urban areas...and I am all for that...provided that dogs can start paying Social Security...because that is likely the only way I will ever see anything that the government has taken from me...so maybe we can kill two birds with one stone...



...Let's train little poochie to pick up his...errr...well...you know....his...ummm....errrr....uhhhh...his...poopie!...and then he can have some earnings and pay Social Security and all the other taxes...then we have cleaners streets and a bigger tax base!...so I called Madam Speaker and she thought it was a great idea!...and as someone who can generate a whole bunch of stuff herself that needs to get placed in plastic bags with your nose held...she immediately saw the value and took a great photo with Leonard Nimoy!...


God Bless America!

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